In practically all families, the holidays stir up both excitement and tension. However, for those who are recently divorced or preparing for a divorce, holiday celebrations are bound to bring more apprehension than cheer. Whether you’re trying out a legal separation, starting the process of filing for divorce, or preparing for a divorce, it will take you some time and effort to establish a new normal for family dynamics. While it’s totally natural and understandable to feel this way, there are steps you can take to make the holidays a little easier on yourself and the children you may have with your soon-to-be ex-spouse. Ferro & Battey, LLC is a family law firm serving the Fairfield, Greenwich, New Canaan, Stamford, and Westport, CT communities that truly has our clients’ best interests at heart.
The following are some tips for keeping your holiday fun, exciting, and civil:
Decide Whether To Celebrate With Your Ex-Spouse. While dealing with an alimony attorney or child support lawyer can often leave a bad taste in someone’s mouth or even create some hostility, not all divorced couples are interested in avoiding each other during the holidays. If you have children or a more amicable relationship, celebrating together is a perfectly fine option. Of course, this is a very personal and individual decision. Make sure to come to an honest conclusion about your preferences and how long you two can remain friendly.
Make Your Plans Early. We know it may be tempting to leave uncomfortable decisions to the last minute, but we promise you’ll thank yourself later. Just like when you were preparing for a divorce, having one of the important choices out of the way early will leave you with more mental energy and time to relax, go shopping, and spend time with loved ones during the more hectic weeks leading up to the holidays.
Talk To Your Children Beforehand.
If you decide to spend the holidays with your ex after filing for divorce, have a plan for how to frame this for your children. Make sure they understand that their parents spending the holidays together isn’t a reconciliation or a sign that you two will reunite. Our child custody attorneys recommend being open about whether you plan to do this every year or not so your children can develop realistic expectations.
Know Who In Your Personal Life To Count On. If communicating with your ex becomes too triggering or you need to express your complaints, it’s important to have a plan in place. Don’t beat yourself up for getting upset, but avoid venting about your ex to anyone who will be spending the holidays with you two. Ask a friend ahead of time if you can call or text them if you get overwhelmed. A therapist or licensed counselor you trust would also be an ideal person to rely on for emotional support.
Think Ahead. It’s never too early to start thinking about what the holidays might look like several years after your divorce or legal separation. When you have a new partner or your spouse has a new partner, would you still want to celebrate altogether? Life changes quickly, and it’s always good to be flexible, but you should be aware that the decisions you make early on set a precedent. Our family law firm has seen firsthand how important it is to do things with honesty and intention!
Contact Our Family Law Firm to Meet with a Trusted Divorce Lawyer or Child Custody Attorney
Ferro & Battey, LLC is here to guide you compassionately and competently through your divorce or legal separation in the Westport, Stamford, Greenwich, New Canaan, or Fairfield, CT area. If you are exploring the idea of filing for divorce or preparing for a divorce from your partner, consider contacting one of our divorce lawyers. We can assist you with related matters as well, such as if you need to consult with an alimony attorney or child support lawyer. Our family law firm understands this is a difficult and stressful time, not only for you, but for others in your family as well. We strive to take some of this stress away and provide you with the legal support and advice for which you are searching. For more information or to set up an appointment with our divorce lawyers and child custody attorneys, call today.
